10 Types Of People You Will Find On The Trains

So I take the Intercity train to and from work every day so I spend a lot of time on them – it’s amazing what kinds of people you see!  I think though, you can probably put most people into one of these categories:

1. The Gollum

This person will not let their bag out of their sight – not even putting it under the seat or on the parcel shelf.  They absolutely have to have their bag on the seat next to them, or by their feet (meaning you have no legroom if you sit opposite them) or failing that, they have their bag on their lap.  Nobody gets to go near their “Precioussss”.  YESSSSS…

2. The Hog

This person will take all the legroom or the armrest, ensuring that they are comfortable totally at your expense – no amount of nudging or pushing will make them move, either.  Be prepared for an uncomfortable ride 😦

3. The Chatterbox

This person seems normal until the train sets off and they pull out their mobile phone.  They spend the whole journey talking about nothing and when they finally finish, they spend the rest of the time texting and fiddling with it.  Try to avoid, they are so addicted that any suggestion to stop may result in a violent reaction!

4. The Barfly

This person can always be found with a drink in their hand … no matter what time of day it is!  Normally reeks with beer and very loud.  Avoid.

5. The Sleeping Beauty

Otherwise known as “the seat blocker” this person cannot cope with the morning train ride and must lie across two seats to sleep.  Often they have their own pillow and smelly socks as you are not allowed to put shoes on the seats!

6. The Laptop Guy

This guy takes up all the table space with his precious laptop and seemingly has a 5-minute battery – because he has to snake his power cord around 3 seats to plug into the mains!  Do not attempt to share with this man while he writes pointless emails or updates a random looking spreadsheet…

7. The Traveller

This person is easily identifiable by the very large suitcase in tow.  This means that if they get in front of you when boarding the train, a large queue forms behind them as they attempt to get their impossibly large suitcase down an impossibly narrow aisle, then when they finally find their seat, they try and lift their impossibly heavy suitcase onto the parcel shelf, fail, and then try and stuff it in the impossibly small gap between the seats.  The process is repeated when they leave the train (and block the doors as they get out).  You will be delayed!

8. The First Place Finisher

This person absolutely and totally has to be the first person on and off the train – they will push in, barge past and be generally very rude just to save precious seconds that would otherwise been spent standing around…

9. The Shore Leave

These people often appear in groups, because they all get sent on leave at the same time.  You can spot them by their green canvas bags, masses of testosterone and over-exuberance.  Don’t sit near them if you plan to have a quiet trip!

10. The Cookie Monster

This person cannot take a train journey without eating.  So while you sit next to them trying not to feel incredibly hungry as you won’t eat dinner until you get home, they sit there stuffing their faces full of food and seemingly fighting very loudly with a plastic wrapper.  As an added bonus, they will cop a feel as they grab the plastic bin bag next to your leg rather than asking for it first.  Eurgh!

So there you have it – some of the lovely people you can find on the trains every day.  Look out for them and see how many you can spot on your journey 🙂


About rubbergoat

Hi there! I’m a mad keen F1 fan who has been addicted to the sport for 20 years. I watch every race and follow the sport in every way I can. I have a keen interest in numbers and I would like to analyse the races from a statistical point of view to see if the data shows something we can't see on TV. As always, I’d love to hear what you think and especially if we can discuss my analyses that would be great – but please no nasty stuff!
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9 Responses to 10 Types Of People You Will Find On The Trains

  1. Smeagol Jr. says:

    By a strange coincidence, I was wondering today about my holiday which starts this Saturday with a long journey by… train!
    Thank you for sharing, I’ll be sure to check your list as I go. 😉

  2. Smeagol Jr. says:

    Wrong, honey, I’m actually quite clumsy! :))

  3. Christine says:

    Aren’t there any nice people on trains?

  4. windman says:

    11. The Noisy Child
    12. The Nosy Stalker
    13. The Lovers 🙂

  5. Moon Over Martinborough says:

    I think you’ve hit the nail on the head! It must be the same the world round, because I swear I’ve seen some of these people on my daily train in New Zealand…

    • rubbergoat says:

      Do you take the train from Martinborough to Wellington every day? I used to live in Wellington and I took that trip because I went to the wine festival one year – was great fun 😀

  6. Jon Waldock says:

    What about the Biker? Who takes too much room up with their bike?

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